How to Be Funny: President Bush does Standup

Every year, the president does a monologue at the annual Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, DC. Blogger/consultant John Kinde has a copy of the monologue on his blog and analyzes the jokes. I've done standup in past (not well, I might add) and I found John's analysis to be right on the money.

If you're looking to write your own jokes, check out his blog. After all, nothing wakes up a VC during a pitch presentation quicker than some good insult humor.

(via Ben Casanocha)

From web developer to billionaire in 10 years or less...

How? Sex. Andrew Conru, the founder of AdultFriendFinder started out coding for others and realized that he'd be better off starting his own company. Now, he's a billionaire.

Here's the other pearl of wisdom. He didn't plan to start an adult site. Conru started AdultFriendFinder because he wants people to stop posting naked photos on FriendFinder, the site Conru started to connect people who wanted to do things like fish. Classic. Another case of the customer telling you what that want.

Read and be inspired.

The Internet is Now Everywhere

This is so cool. And smart.

United Villages distributes pre-paid cards to locals in remote villages who can write emails or record phone messages at solar powered computer kiosks installed in schools and community halls. United Villages deploys buses tricked out with short-range Wi-Fi antennas which pass through villages, automatically picking up stored emails and voice messages as they go. Once a bus reaches a city with Internet connectivity, it relays the emails and messages to their appointed destinations via the web.

Full article here.

The Virtual Ipod

Following up on my recent post about the Virtual DVR, I discovered Mediamaster, a free service that allows you to upload a Ipod Nano's worth of music online and access it from anywhere you can get an internet connection. Better yet, they provide an embed code so you can add a music-playing widget to your blog or Myspace page.

The obvious application for this is to create your own online jukebox to share with your friends, however that functionality is not supported yet.

At the moment, I'll opt to carry my Ipod. It's more convenient and I can take it places the internet doesn't go (like the subway). However, once I'm able to get high-quality streaming audio on a handheld device with out playing exorbitant data fees, then an online music vault would make sense to me. I like the idea of centralizing my data and being able to access it multiple ways. And no more Ipod-Itunes syncing.

Storing your media online is just the first step in the evolution to complete virtualization of media. The next step is realizing that for most media, you do not need a personal copy. Every copy of Britney Spears' Toxic is essentially the same, barring bitrate variations and remixes. Why should we store a million copies of the same piece of media when one copy can easily serve a million people?

Again, I'm arguing for the universal media library. The new library of Alexandria. I'm willing to bet 100 dollars that we'll see it in some form within the next decade. Any takers?

(via StartupSquad)

Notes from YCombinator Startup School

John went to YCombinator Startup School on our behalf. I haven't read his notes, yet. But I did find some pretty good notes on Scribd. Read them and enjoy.

Here's a taste - notes on Max Levchin's talk. His usual obsession with metrics are represented.

Max Levchin, “A Crash Course in Product Management”

Founder, PayPal

Product management is about:

• Channeling the user
• Developing a fantastic interface

The best product managers are people who understand computers.

Why do most startups fail?

• Most engineers fail to work out the details!

When you design a product, you need to think about whom you’re designing the product for!

• Try to achieve an out-of-body experience as close you can, while you are using the product.
• Observe the user closely!
• The best product can be used effectively while the user is distracted.

How do you find out what works? Metrics, metrics, metrics

• Measure everything
• Generate statistics
• There is no ready made package that will analyze the data appropriately – develop your own

Practical web design

• Design your sites to use blue; red and green are problematic for the color blind (8% of men)
• Scrolling is OK now that mice have scroll wheels – “keep it above the fold” is less relevant now

The 300: An Allegory of a Start-up?

In college, I had a class on Freudian literary analysis. I learned that if you look hard enough you can always find a phallus somewhere.

Well, now that my mind is awhirl with startups every waking minute, I've take to doing "startup literary analysis". Here is my startup version of The 300.

A senior manager (King Leonidas) leaves his company (Sparta, Inc.) with his best employees and forms a new company(the 300). Microsoft *cough* I mean the Persians, wanting to dominate the marketplace declares war on the company (but only after trying to buy them out first). Leonidas being a smart entrepreneur chooses a small niche (the Hot Gates) from which to make a stand. Wisely, it's a niche whose terrain is very familiar to Leonidas and his men. They arrive in the niche before the Persians and erect a barrier to entry (literally). The Persians throw millions of dollars at the niche, but the 300 are able to withstand the onslaught because they are top-notch entrepreneurs who trust each other to do their job and do it well.

Finally, Bill Gates *ahem* Xerxes meets with Leonidas and offers him 300 millions dollars for his company and the position of Senior Vice President of Greece. He declines. Even at a SVP salary, he'll still be only a wage slave.

Meanwhile, a disgruntled employee, Ephialtes, betrays the 300, revealing to Xerxes a flaw in the Spartan's business strategy that the Spartans hoped no one would realize.

Xerxes uses this information to flank the Spartans in the marketplace.

Leonidas, knowing that his company is doomed, he doesn't have enough resources to fight on two fronts, and the venture capital he was hoping for never appears. He makes a final glorious stand against the giant corporation and is destroyed. His flameout inspires other entrepreneurs and convinces venture capitalists that its a market worth fighting for.

A year later, a fully capitalized startup led by a former employee of Leonidas does battle in the marketplace and carves out a respectable marketshare.

Of course, if this was taking place in Silicon Valley, Leonidas would form another company a year later to fight Google.

Cast of Characters (partial)
Leonidas - CEO
Captain - COO
Xerxes - Bill Gates
Ephialtes - Disgruntled Salesperson
The Spartan Senate - Board of Directors, Sparta Inc.
Ephors - Business Strategy Consultants (McKinsey?)